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Why does my son have no friends

Why does my son have no friends


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As parents we always hope that our children have many friends and successfully integrate into the various groups to which they belong; However, some of us sometimes observe with concern that this does not happen and we are not always clear if it is a real problem or not and how to help them improve the situation.

Obviously, not all children have the same personality, nor the same popularity among their peers, but that does not necessarily mean that we should be concerned. Perhaps our son is rather introverted and prefers the library to friends, solitude to company. And yet Many parents become concerned when asking themselves this question: why doesn't my child have friends?

There are children or young people rather lonely but due to their own choices; The important is make sure you DO have a few (or only one) friends with whom he manages to relate adequately and share certain preferences and activities; If so, you don't have to worry. It is a matter of personality that we must respect and, as far as possible, encourage their friendly ties, although few are strengthened by providing invitations and coexistence with them.

And then when is it time to worry? Your child may not be able to make friends at school, but in the club that does not happen and he connects well with his classmates or vice versa ... in fact, sometimes children fail to flourish in certain environments, but it is evident that there is no Important social problem if you manage to connect with friends in the other scenarios in which you move. Nevertheless, If you have virtually no close friends at school, after-school activities, a sports club, neighbors, or even cousins ​​your age, it's time to find out why, which almost certainly is in some feature of their behavior that alienates others.

Sometimes a child's lack of friends is due to a certain social skills problem. Here are some examples:

1. He always wants to command. He is very dominant and / or aggressive, believes that only he is right and always wants things to be done as he says. There are those who become very aggressive verbally and even physically; obviously it doesn't matter if they are preschoolers or teens, this behavior will make no one want to be around.

2. Doesn't stop moving (Hyperactive). Unfortunately there are children who have a high degree of hyperactivity (which they are often unable to voluntarily control) that makes them move and talk non-stop, becoming very invasive to others, which makes coexistence difficult.

3. Accuses or defrauds. It is about children or adolescents who disappoint the trust of their classmates by gaining extra attention, such as accusing them with the teacher of anything, telling a secret, speaking badly about them and gossiping, making fun or showing someone to make them laugh to others, etc. This behavior can generate many antipathies and few or no interested in calling himself his friend.

4. Shows little empathy and sensitivity. Here it is about those who can be very offensive and not very empathetic when interacting with others, saying hurtful or not very delicate things that have a negative effect not only on the offended but on the whole group.

5. Has a bad habit. There are children who have certain habits that become annoying and alienate others, such as, for example, continuously scratching their nose, biting and sucking everything within their reach, eating with their mouths open, etc.

6. The one who is shy and cannot communicate. There are extremely shy and insecure children who cannot connect or make themselves heard by others, they feel sorry to speak and although deep down they want to integrate, they prefer to go unnoticed and unfortunately this is what happens since others stop taking them into account.

There are many behaviors that children without friends can cause; some like those mentioned can be easy to detect, but in other cases (the least) they are subtle and unspoken behaviors that are more difficult to discover.

As a parent, it can be very difficult to accept that your child is falling into these patterns ... some even try to change his school, put him into new activities, accuse others of little tolerance, all before accepting that it is he who must change and adapt to the world and not the world to him.

We must be open; observe our son in the different contexts in which he develops to determine what the behavior may be that is interfering with the way he connects with others (perhaps deep down we already know). Once we accept it, we must:

- Help you become aware of those attitudes and negative behaviors that are alienating others.

- Sometimes it is necessary to seek help and the support of a specialist who can give specific strategies and make a direct intervention with our son.

- Ask for support at school It can also be very helpful, both in the process of detecting the areas to work on, and in taking internal measures that can support the process.

Remember that the social area is a basic area in life of any human being; let's not allow our child to grow up without enjoying it.

You can read more articles similar to Why does my son have no friends, in the category of Conduct on site.


Video: My Child Has No Friends - With Dr William Pelham (November 2022).