A question many parents ask themselves when their children are young is how to teach them to defend themselves without hitting and without using violence.
There are many situations that can occur and none is desirable for our son. Children who do not let them play, make fun of them, take away their toys, or empty them ...
These situations occur and are unavoidable, therefore we must teach children to face and resolve them in an appropriate way and without the need to respond with the "same coin".
What we have to be clear about is that if I teach my son to defend himself by hitting, ("Son, don't hit, but if they push you, you push too"), we are teaching you that violence is justified in case someone does something that upsets you and they will use it.
On our site we give you a series of guidelines so that you can teach the child to defend himself without violence.
1 - Listen to the children when they tell us what happens to them at school, ("Mommy, today a girl or a boy pushed me at recess") and ask them how they solved it. If he tells me that he has also been pushed or hit, we must correct him without scolding him and offer him another way to have resolved the conflict, for example: go to an adult and tell him about the situation. That is, to offer you models and strategies for solving problems that are alternatives to violence or aggression.
2 - The child's emotions must also be taken into account, help you identify what you feel when this happens to you (sadness, anger, anger, anguish) and help you manage them. It is important that you learn to handle and express them, since accumulated anger leads to aggressive behaviors and sadness or anguish to withdrawal and low self-esteem.
3 - Cultivate good self-esteem in our son, and make him feel confident and value himself.
4 - Teach the child that on many occasions the best way to be left alone is assert ourselves and stand up to the dialogue. Doing so may scare or scare you, so we can "rehearse" at home, put yourself in position and practice. Teach children to say NO, and to know how to set limits for other children. When I don't like something they are doing to me, I should say it, "I don't like this", "don't do this", "I told you to stop".
5 - Ignoring who bothers us is a good tool. At the end of the day, if the objective of whoever hits me or bothers me is to make me feel bad and they don't succeed, they will end up leaving me.
6 - Teach children to ask for help when they feel attacked by another child, without feeling like "snitches" or cowards. The smartest way to act is to stay out of the conflict, and ask an adult for help.
Violence exists in the world, there are good people and not so good people, and we cannot prevent our children from exposing themselves to them, so the best way to act is teach them to resolve conflicts in a calm and respectful way, as well as teaching them to respect others and always treat them as you would like them to be treated.
You can read more articles similar to Teach the child to defend himself without violence, in the Bullying category on site.