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Language, or rather, the way to use it, is essential when we talk with children. If we have to be especially careful with what we say, or better yet, with how we say it, we must be even more careful when we address our children.
And, you can't imagine how children interpret our words. The way you talk to them can lead them to have a good self-esteem and feel loved or to think they are stupid, clumsy, insecure and unloved.
This table shows common conversations that arise in a family. And it is that, sometimes stress, stress or rush make us speak badly to children, we may not give it importance, but here it becomes clear what they interpret and how it penetrates their emotions. Surely your intention is not to call him stupid, clumsy or bad, that's for sure, but it is what in the end many of the words we say to them convey. Wouldn't it happen to us if they constantly speak to us in those ways?
When we say things like "Don't you understand? Have I not repeated it a thousand times?", The message that remains with our children is that they do not know anything, that they are stupid and do not understand things. Their sensitivity is much greater than that of an adult, it is immature, it has not yet strengthened and this does not lead them to de-dramatize or downplay importance.
Conversely, leads them to think that their parents treat them as useless. In this situation, perhaps it would be better to breathe, put stress aside, since the child is not to blame for the burden of adults, and kindly ask the child to try again, either doing homework or picking up the bedroom.
It is easy? No, it is not. It is impossible? Of course not. It is possible and it also has many advantages for our children.
The difference between using derogatory language towards children or affective language is the happiness of our children. And the thing is, the words are inscribed in our personality like a tattoo on the skin. They can build or destroy.
- They will feel unloved.
- They will apply those labels and really think they are dumb, clumsy, mean or annoying.
- Your self-esteem will suffer.
- Conflicts at home will increase.
- The child will follow our example and end up speaking badly to us and to the people around him.
- They will feel slighted.
- They will feel loved.
- They will strive to do things better and better.
- They will be motivated.
- They will be happier.
- Your attitude will be much more positive when facing your challenges or your day to day.
- The relationship between parents and children will be much more fluid and less conflictive.
You can read more articles similar to The shocking way in which children interpret our words, in the category of Self-esteem on site.