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Very often when our children have tantrums or have had some inappropriate behavior, we get angry saying "to your room, do not go out until I say" or we use other strategies such as the thinking chair.
However, these measures do not serve to help the child to manage their emotions in a positive way, because emotional states often cloud understanding and can lead them to carry out negative behaviors such as yelling, crying, hitting and even self-harm. We invite you to create a corner of calm to control those childish tantrums.
So before going to think about what he did wrong, the child needs a space where he can regain his calm. It requires a space where you can think about the facts and meditate on how the damage done can be repaired.
To achieve this objective there is a path known as the Montessori method, an educational model developed by María Montessori at the end of the 19th century. This educational look gives us a brilliant way to build a place where children can go whenever they need tranquility. The corner of calm - as it is called - is a suitable physical space to promote a state of peace and serenity.
This space creates an environment where the child does not feel judged in his emotion but, on the contrary, the emotion is validated and recognized in order to learn to guide them and thus help to promote emotional intelligence in the child.
The benefits of this technique are framed in emotional self-regulation, in self-knowledge and respect for others, developing a more assertive language that allows a positive emotional expression and not tainted by frustration.
What elements should this corner of calm have? It is advisable to include a rug and cushion. The idea is that the place is comfortable. For that, you need some elements that can bring children to calm as their favorite stuffed animal, the photo of a frog (to exemplify the realization of a deep breath as frogs do by inflating their abdomen), it is also recommended to include a soothing scent like lemon balm or lavender, music that facilitates body relaxation. Musical instruments such as Tibetan bowls or water sticks can be added.
Another tool could be "The bottle of calm", which is a bottle that contains glycerin, water, oil and different glitters. The idea is to explain to them that while the bottle moves inside everything is shaken, then the glitter starts to stop, it is the same as the emotions, it is felt in an intense way but then they begin to fade.
Other instruments that can be attached to this space would be some textured materials such as sand, seeds, cloth, etc. Stories with themes that facilitate emotional recognition, so that they provide didactic material so that the child can learn to positively manage their emotions (such as "The Color Monster", a story that helps to recognize and differentiate emotional states).
The idea is that an adult can accompany the child to the corner of calm for a while until he manages to internalize the habit as a habit. access this space whenever you feel overwhelmed by an emotion. In this way, the adult becomes a guide in this space, encouraging him to use the materials he needs to use to calm himself. In a calm way, the adult can actively participate in this corner with verbalizations such as "remember to breathe" or "where in your body do you feel anger". The idea is that the adult can serve as an emotional facilitator for this, it is essential that he is in a calm state.
To finish the activity, the child needs to be reinforced in his effort, so the child not only feels accompanied within his process; rather, he feels in the adult a companion who attends and welcomes him, fading in him some other feelings of hatred or rivalry. In this way, the role of parents achieves a paternity that does not generate detachment from the child, but rather they are the true pillars by which the child can feel safe and confident. The tantrums, after all, are an invitation to be the real heroes who help him when they feel more drowned.
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