10 tips for talking about sex with kids

Infant education

Recommendations on how to approach the issue of sexuality with children


Parents must be open and available for dialogue with children, naturally, without lies and always calling things by name. Sexuality is a subject that must be treated with tenderness, affection and closeness. It is important for parents to speak in a language that is easy for children to understand. Confidence is a basic ingredient in sex education, that is why it is very important that parents answer their children's questions about sex, without the need to delve into the subject.

It is very normal for children, starting at 3 or 4 years of age, to start asking questions about their birth. How did it enter their mother's belly? How are babies born and where do they come from? ... Parents must explain to children that when a couple decides to have a child it is a very important step. The baby will be the fruit of your love. Many kisses and hugs are given, and the father puts a seed in the mother and this seed will grow day by day in her belly until it becomes a baby. And when the baby has grown, he must go out to see the world and be with his family. If the child is already over 6 or 7 years old, instead of a seed, one can speak of sperm and eggs, and even the introduction of the penis into the mother's vagina. It would be good for parents to explain this process through a book, with illustrations.

The baby begins as a small embryo that grows thanks to the fact that it feeds on what its mother eats, through the umbilical cord that comes out of her navel. The baby is forming little by little. Month by month, the baby is forming the eyes, arms, legs, sex ... and when everything is formed, it will be time to leave its mother's womb. The mother will go to the hospital for doctors to help the baby out.

Babies can come out in two ways. By the time the baby has been in its mother's belly for 9 months, it will have grown so much that it will have to come out. The mother will go to the hospital and the doctor will help her deliver her baby. The baby can come out in two ways: through the birth canal called the vagina or, in special cases or when it is not possible to come out through the vagina, through surgery.

At some point children may ask about the sex differences between a boy and a girl. Why do girls have a vagina and boys have a penis? In this sense, it is important that children have notions about the human body. Both boys and girls realize that they belong to one sex and not the other. This is the beginning of the process that leads to sexual identity. To feel that you belong to one of the two sexes. eye! Do not confuse with the process of learning or feeling that there are things exclusively for boys and others exclusively for girls, which would be gender roles, a social construction that makes some things, games or ways of dressing are considered as belonging to men and others as typical of women. With the help of drawings or illustrations, it can be explained that boys have their sex on the outside while girls have it on the inside.

Why do parents have sex? What is making love? Today, it is normal for children to take an interest in these matters sooner and later. To answer them on these questions, parents must relate the sexual act to love, always. Dad and mom want to be together and they decide to join their bodies, make love, laugh and enjoy this moment of intimacy. And that only adults will have the body prepared and mature to have sex.

Why is the boy's penis smaller than his father's? Children, seeing their parents naked, can begin to compare their body and penis with that of their father or with that of an older brother, if he has one. Girls will ask why their mother's breasts are so much larger than theirs. This is a good time to explain to children about the changes that occur in the body from childhood through adolescence and adulthood. You can even talk about the growth of pelvic hair, armpits, mustache, beard, etc.

Times have changed and the displays of affection and affection from different sexual orientations are also more visible in the eyes of children. When children see two men or two women kissing, they will surely ask their parents for an explanation. They can be told that people, from the moment we are born and throughout our lives, need our parents, family, friends, colleagues, and then a loving company or boyfriend / girlfriend. Typically, relationships are between a man and a woman (who are called heterosexual), but there are men like women who are more attracted to people of the same sex. We call these relationships homosexual, gay if they are two boys and lesbians if they are girls, and in some countries, they can marry. It is important that parents explain to their children that each person has the right to choose who they like the most and that others respect their preferences.

Over time, the station wagon has also seen some changes. The child may one day come home and tell that his or her friend has two mothers or two fathers, or only one mother or one father… How to explain the changes in family models to the little ones? Not all families are the same. There are families of father, mother and children, other single parents, that is, in which there is only one father or one mother, due to a divorce or widowhood, or even couples of two mothers or two fathers. We must tell them that the important thing is that they live as a family, with respect and love.

From 3 to 4 years of age, children begin to be more aware of their bodies and the need for privacy. The child will be ashamed to show certain parts of his body. How should parents act? Feeling shy is not bad for children. Parents must understand that the child feels the owner of his own body and has control over it. Parents should respect whether the child wants to go to the bathroom or dress himself. Modesty begins with imitation and then with sexual identity. It is important that the attitude of the parents is to support the child in defending his privacy, without exaggeration or puritanism.

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